I underestimated my feelings for you, now that your gone they are pouring from me, each trickle of blood staining my white shirt, as it’s seeps from my chest, like a thousand razor blades it’s scars me, and it scares me to lose you.
Someone told me I was the happiest person they knew. I told them I wasn’t happy, and they asked me why I always smile at everyone. I told then it’s because I’m really sad, I smile at everyone because all I need is someone to smile at me, I would like for once someone to be happy to see me. I have no self esteem, I feel fat, I feel ugly, I hate myself, I feel like I am all of the bad things people have always told me that I am, and in just sitting here like, all I want is someone to love me…
Is that too much to ask for?
I’ve been so alone my whole life, that I’ve never felt whole, I’m to small to fill this shell myself, and the gaps between the nerves fill themselves with pain, I just want the numbness surround. I’m so sad you don’t love me like I love you.
My best friend finds out if the tumor found in his brain is cancer or not. They found it day before yesterday. Just this week someone asked if I were getting married who would be my best man, it would be him, because he is one of the best men I know. He’s been my brother and bestfriend through the worst times of my life, so I am asking tumblr to pray for him if you believe, and if you don’t, please do anyways, for me, for him, please.
Found out my bestfriend, my brother for 15 of my 22 years has a tumor in his brain, they haven’t confirmed it’s cancer yet, that appointment is tomorrow. I’m just scared, he’s been the only person to be by my side and there when I need someone for all these years, he’s my bestfriend…I don’t even know what to do. I’ve been crying all day.
mermaid-mamma asked: I'm sorry to hear you're feeling horribly. :( I know how it feels. If it helps at all, I think you're absolutely wonderful and beautiful.
Excision dropping hard last Saturday at The shrine in LA.
And he was sayin, well I don’t really know if he was actually sayin it, but all I could hear was him sayin, “eat sleep rave repeat…eat sleep rave repeat EAT SLEEP RAVE!”
Did you know we’re actually NOT Nazi’s and there’s a lot more to our history than just Hitler? Did you know a lot of Germans were forced into supporting Hitler because otherwise the Gestapo would take you in the middle of the night and kill you and possibly your family? And that children were taught to tattle on their parents if they weren’t in support of the Nazi party? Did you know SS soldiers and Concentration Camp soldiers were actually executed for secretly sneaking food or helping the prisoners? Did you know a German made the first globe, first car, alcohol and mercury thermometer, electron microscope, the first freely programmable computer, the bunsen burner, etc?
Probably not since you’re too busy insulting my country and only thinking of Nazis when you hear it’s name and calling me a Nazi when I say, “Yes I’m German.”
I’m not saying to forget the Holocaust and the war. I’m just saying you don’t need to bring that up when I say I’m German. If that’s all you know about my country, kindly shut up.
I’m not German, but I think this is very, very important and I’ll always reblog this.
It’s a matter of respect. Judging a country, and a beautiful one too, for something their people couldn’t help is one of the most outrageous things I’ve ever seen.
I am in the same situation. My country is more than Mafia.
That’s because I demand RESPECT for all the countries in this world.
germans and niggi germans are not all Nazis
I love Germany
Ich bin Deutschlander, und ich liebe Deutschland.
I’m just so angry and hurt, I’m sad and defenseless, I’m afraid. I’ve risked all my winnings and lost, and started again from the beginning, I didn’t just risk my winnings this time, with you I put not just what I had take. From others, but all that I had for myself. Seeing you walk away has been so hard for me. I don’t know what to do honestly, I’m lost entirely in this situation with a compass that just keeps spinning and spinning, there was never a way out of this for me. Once I had tasted your kiss, felt your lips on my throat, the graze of your fingers interweaving with mine, it was over, too deep now to ever swim against the current, too deep now to even bother fighting I’m swept away in this river I jumped in, I have no idea where it will lead me, or if my my chin will stay above the water line before my soul washes up on the shoreline of an estuary. I just want you back, that’s all
I’m just fucking sad. That’s all, just really really fuck sad. Hopefully this goes away soon.
Tony let’s not be sad and go get turnt the fuck up this weekend!!!
Every time is give it my all I get rejected, turned down, turned away, I get dismissed, told to get real, I get shown that I’m not good enough. That’s all I’ve ever wanted…to be good enough, for my Dad, for my Mom, for a girl, for myself. Even the girls who loved me deeply, when I was good enough for them, I wasn’t good enough for myself. I gave you my all, put it all on the line and had it all taken, not just my winnings but my everything. Now I’m farther behind than ever and no one will even give me a shot. Only if you knew it all, if you understood what I gave up, what I put in. I’m glad you don’t though, because what you don’t know is all I have left to hold on to